Meeting Her Family

The dreaded day has come. There is no escape. What you've tried to avoid all this time has now come to pass, you have to meet her family and all depends on what you do next.


When you're in love and things have grown to the point that your relationship has reached a higher level, it's unavoidable that you'll have to meet your girlfriend's family. You've met her friends and you've tolerated them. Some you may like and others you can't stand, however, love makes you forge ahead as you've got to take the sweet and the sour.

Now it's time for the final test. To meet her family and hope all goes well. What's a man to do?

There's only one thing to do and that's keep a cool head and all your manners intact. If the girlfriend is from the same culture as yours you've got a leg up. You'll know what to expect and what's expected of you and her. There may be only her parents to deal with but also other family members and their friends at attendance. All will be watching and waiting for any mistakes or unacceptable behavior but for the most part they'll have their best foot forward. They'll probably pester you with questions and you had better be able to answer them but not fold under pressure. Your strengths will need to be established as well as your good nature or you'll get kicked around like a soccer ball.

At the first meeting it's best to dress your best and bring some presents. If her mother likes a certain candy or some such, then bring that along. If her father likes a special kind of bourbon or wine, bring that. They're sure fired winners as they'll be around long after you leave and they'll remember you for it. Make sure your etiquette is at its top and if you feel you need to, then hit a website and get some tutorials. Having dinner is going to be part of the meeting and having uncivilized table manners will make you look like a lout instead of someone they can count on to be with their daughter.

Expect pets. If they have pets like a dog and you don't like dogs, then buckle up and tolerate it. Toleration is something you'll have to experience and employ the lifetime of your relationship. Same goes for quirky relatives and friends. A man knows how to handle things with diplomacy. If there's family member or friend whose conduct or lifestyle is in conflict with your beliefs then you must remember you're in someone else's home and realm and that person and their conduct is accepted. Be polite and courteous and tolerate things until you leave and carefully discuss it with your girlfriend later. These things have to be ironed out early or they'll grow into major problems later.

Meeting her parents is a definite make or break point in a relationship. Sometimes however things aren't that smooth at the old homestead. Her parents may have turmoil of their own. You may find that during dinner they suddenly get into an argument and things get out of hand. Now comes the test. You'll have to man-up and excuse yourself and state that this is a situation that you're not responsible for but understand that with all due respect they must iron out themselves. Later you'll have to have that heart to heart talk with your girlfriend about where things will go from there. It will be defining moment but it will work or not. Not all the romance in the world is worth getting into major dangerous domestic situations.

Family are the toughest judges and meeting your girlfriend's parents is a situation that calls for finesse and diplomacy, manners and integrity. Be prepared!